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A Horse of Course

A Horse, Of Course
by Don Blazer

When you ask a horse what he wants for Christmas, you don't expect much of an answer.
"What do you want for Christmas, Walter," I asked?
Instantly he produced a list!
The fact he had the list really didn't surprise me; but the contents of the list did.
The list read, "sweet feed, eggs, molasses, bread, parsley, celery leaves, carrot tops, water, parsnips, Lifesaver mints, peppermint candy and seedless red grapes." The list continued, "measuring cup, tablespoons, egg beater, blender, small round bowl, large round bowl and a cake pan."
I looked at Walter and Walter looked at me. One of us didn't have a clue. Obviously, it was me.
Walter produced The Original Book of Horse Treats written by June V. Evers. He had the book opened to the dessert section with recipes for Magic Christmas Munchy Mixture, Christmas Pudding and Munchy Crunchy Christmas Cake.
"You want me to cook this for you?" I asked incredulously. I can't boil water without burning it. Walter curled his upper lip, pinned his ears and stomped his hoof. "Alright, already; I'll try."
Luckily, it doesn't take much horse sense to follow June's recipes.
You start with Magic Christmas Munchy Mixture which is the base for the Christmas Pudding and the Munchy Crunchy Christmas Cake. For the mixture, you need 2 to 4 cups of sweet feed, 2 eggs, 3 tablespoons of molasses and 1 to 1 and 1/2 cups of hot water.
Place the sweet feed in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs well, then add them to the feed and mix well. Dissolve the molasses in hot water and add a little at a time to the feed mixture until it is sticky and firm. Pour the molasses/water mixture gradually as you may not need it all. You should be able to mold and shape the feed mix.
I suggest you now pour the remaining hot water over your hands so you can unstick your fingers. It is difficult to make the Christmas Pudding when your hands are in a "mitten of molasses."
For the Christmas Pudding you will need bread crumbs (make these by putting two slices of bread into a blender), parsley, celery leaves or carrot tops.
Press as much of the Magic Christmas Munchy Mixture as you can into a small round bowl which has been pre-greased with corn oil. Place a plate over the top of the bowl and then tip the bowl over, holding the plate in place so the mixture doesn't fall out. Tap the bowl a few times and east it off the mixture. You should have a perfectly shaped mount of Magic Christmas Munchy Mixture. (Fortunately, Walter isn't too picky about perfectly shaped mounts.)
Garnish the mixture with bread crumbs and add some parsley, celery leaves and carrot tops around the base, and now you have a "pudding."
To whip-up the Munchy Crunchy Christmas Cake you'll need more of the magic mixture, parsnips and carrot cut into finger-length pieces, bread crumbs, Lifesaver mints, peppermint candy, seedless red grapes, parsley, celery leaves and carrot tops.
Fill a large bowl with the Magic Mixture, then mix in sliced parsnip or carrot, or a little of both. Press this mixture into a corn oil-greased cake pan. Pack it as tightly as you can. Cover the cake pan with a plate and flip over. Tap the pan with a spoon and gently lift the pan off the cake.
To garnish the cake, sprinkle with bread crumbs.
Decorate the cake with Lifesavers or peppermints. If your horse tends to bolt his food, top the cake with red seedless grapes.
Add carrot candles if you want to slip the Christmas cake by as being a "birthday cake." (I'll never tell, if you don't.)
Around the base of the cake add some parsley, celery leaves and carrot tops.
Pull off your apron, and serve.
When I finished, I presented Walter with his Christmas wish. He ignored me.
I pushed the Munchy Crunchy Christmas Cake at Walter. He pushed it back.
Then out from his stall came a package of gift labels. There was a label for Somethinspectacular, Katie Bar Dee Door, Black, Max, Fritz, Special Melody and BabyGotFleetFeet. There were labels for the dogs, cats and goats. Of course, there was a label for Diane, and one for me.
I distributed Walter's gift cake to all his friends and I even ate a little Munchy Crunchy Christmas Cake myself.
After all, it's not the gift, it's the thought. And Walter is a very thoughtful little horse.
"Merry Christmas," to all the thoughtful little horses.

Get Walter's new Coloring Book at

Don Blazer
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"A Horse, Of Course"
Monthly Column
by Don Blazer



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